no matter how painstakingly in the deep of your heart you want it to happen
maybe the more you want it the fewer possibilities there are you'll achieve it
maybe it's like some kind of frightened little bird that escapes from reach you when you are so close to have it in your hands
maybe it's like some kind of vessel that deviates from the iceberg that threatens to punch a hole through it making it sink in the deeps
maybe you're the person unawaredly pushing it away
maybe you're looking in the wrong places
maybe you're looking for something and you don't even know what it looks like
maybe it's running away from you
maybe it just doesn't exist
maybe you don't deserve it